Was excited to finally ride Sugar today. She came to me in the corral yesterday and let me pet her nose. So we’re best friends. We were packing with Polly today and I was to pull her on Sugar, so that was flustering to me. There’s a lot to think about with an extra rope in your hand that you don’t want to get caught in anyone’s foot or under Sugar’s tail and that I hold in a way so my thumb doesn’t get smashed if the rope is pulled. I was also to call “COMEEE ONNN” to the cows constantly as we rode. So I’m doing 3 things at once when I’m still a new rider and I wanted this day to be about just me and Sugar! Wah! And I think she did too because I couldn’t control her. She wouldn’t move. Jean was off gathering cows and I was becoming so frustrated, yelling at Sugar in between yelling for the cows. I got off and lead Sugar and Polly which was tough because neither were willing to move and I was getting tired of yanking and walking and yelling for the stupid cows. So I got on again. And off again. And on. And off. Sugar would not move and I didn’t know what to do. So I left her. I left Sugar standing there like a fool and marched on with Polly. Yeah, I know I was the fool to give up like that. I was so outraged and wished Jean would come help me because I had no idea what else to do.
It wasn’t easy going with Polly either, especially because I was already mad. But at least we were moving. Finally got to our spot and laid out the blocks. Then I got stung by a scorpion. And I also tore my own skin apart because my knuckles started itching again. Got back to where I left Sugar, got back on, and she was moving this time since we were heading home. I tied up Polly at the water and we lead some cows up the hill. I used the lead rope to hit Sugar and that got her going. I completely forgot that that was what I should have done before. I can only remember so many goddamn things when I’m in a panicking rage. When we got back Polly was gone. Another fail! When we returned Sugar and I took some trips to the creek and back so I could regain my authority. That was a struggle too. Finally we were done and the horses put away and Dink done with her slowest Happy Hour in the world. I was opening the gate where we moved the horses this morning and the whole thing fell on my big toe. Hurt more than Emma Grace stepping on me. That was the final straw. I hunched over against the gate, so defeated by the day’s events, and I look up to see Popcorn staring at me, saying “why’d you drop that gate on your foot, dumbass?” I couldn’t even look the horses in the eye as I walked out. No one offered to comfort me, not even Donk.